While everyone loves the novelty of going out to a good restaurant from time to time, there’s no denying that the service industry itself can get kind of dull. Lurking to see if people are ready to order, finished their food, or just want to chat, restaurant employees still seem to pass the time in a tolerable fashion. Give them a sign to work with, however, and the passing of time goes from tolerable to exciting. Equipped with puns, dry humour, and sometimes even the specials of the day, employees pour their hearts and idyll time into making something that every passerby can enjoy. As more and more people have photographed these creative projects, spawned of boredom, over the years, there are quite a few to look through when it comes to the best of the best. Of those greats, we have 15 right here.
For those who like the finer things in life
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For a restaurant named Smiley’s you’d think they would offer up something a little more… inviting. Alright, yes, of course we’re aware that the sign actually refers to the kind of gas you put in the tank of your car, and not the kind you put in your sister’s face to make them suffer, but the phrasing is definitely not helping that cause. So many other things could have been said! Maybe, “food and gas,” for example, which advertises no verb to suggest the getting of the putrid kind of gas. Alternatively, it suggests that there is gas already there. It draws no relation to the food, and anyone with their head correctly on their shoulders can infer that any kind of gas that is constantly at the ready is the car kind (or someone with a huge medical problem on their hands).
Beyhive, assemble!
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As the last part of this sassy sign is perfectly partially obstructed, the ultimate throwing of shade is completed by this Sonic. A bold move by Sonic, considering their subject is Beyoncé, the queen of throwing shade herself. While Beyonce named her album Lemonade because her sentiments while making the album were both sour and sweet, this Sonic seems to be drinking nothing but bitter tea. Yeah, we get it Sonic, your sweetened lemon juice is pretty good, but Beyoncé just released one of the best lemonades of all time. Whether it be the Beyhive or Kanye who comes in to save Bey’s name, Sonic better watch out (and probably take out insurance on that sign before it gets vandalized).
A happy coincidence like no other
abc.net.au
As this is a billboard on a highway and not a nifty handmade sign, we realize the hilarity of this sign may not have been planned, but man does it ever live up to that hilarity anyway. It’s strange enough to see that a town exists in Australia called Yass, considering what the internet has done with the phrase “yassss” in the past few years, but the insertion of those iconic McDonald’s golden arches makes that strangeness so much sweeter. Yes, that’s right folks, this sign is literally giving passing drivers directions to “my ass.” You’re welcome, citizens of Yass, I’ve personally been told mine is quite nice. In fact it might even inspire you to scream – dare I say it – “yassss!”
Enter if you dare…?
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This restaurant really has some balls to be posting a sign like this for the public eye to see, but what can we expect from a place called “Crabby Dick’s.” We’re not exactly sure what’s in a “seaman sauce,” but we have a feeling it would be, er, white… Awkward homophones aside, we would also like to know exactly what kind of balls this place is serving. Conch balls, crab balls, meat balls, ball balls? While the dirty humour may be very on point in this sign, the effectiveness of the advertising itself is kind of lacking. The tactic probably works a lot better than one would think, though, because who doesn’t love a dirty little secret?
Is it too late now to say sorry?
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The barren parking lot, the chipped paint on the base of the sign, the lack of restaurant behind it… Never has a restaurant sign looked so sad on its own, and now, to add to the tragic scenery, a melancholy message as well. We want to forgive you, mystery person behind the words on this sign, but we don’t know who you are! You could be an employee, a vandal, or the Donut King himself, we have no way of knowing, unfortunately. Whoever you are, forgiveness seeker, we’re here to remind you to keep pushing and look up, because there’s blue skies ahead of you, friend.
Dinner and a show
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If our assumptions are correct, and this burger joint is trying to playfully tell sign readers that the turkey comes with dressing, we applaud them. This sign, albeit somewhat confusing upon first glance, leaves a lot to the imagination. You could choose to immediately infer that the sign means the turkey comes with the beloved side dish and cousin to stuffing that is dressing, or you could let your mind wander a bit before accepting this inevitable truth. Sure, the play on words is great, but can you imagine a cooked turkey wearing a little suit, or perhaps even a live one in a can-can dress dancing for you while you eat? Evidently, we can.
It’s funny ’cause it’s true
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McDonald’s just kills it with ill-placed sign juxtaposition, however this time it’s not their classic logo that’s the problem. This McDonald’s apparently had a staffing shortage at the time of this sign’s posting, which so happened to fall around the exact same time the town’s seniors had graduated, thus they deserved congratulating by their local fast food conglomerate. Though probably well-intended, the job posting and congratulations stacked so closely on top of the other draws the viewers of the sign’s attentions to an inevitable conclusion about the fate of a whole lot of those newly graduated seniors. By no means is there any shame in working at McDonald’s, it just might not be the future you want to come face to face with when you’re trying to live it up as a graduate.
But how Italian is it?
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Okay, we know anyone with so much as sub-par vision can read that this entire sign is supposed to say, “Italian Affair,” but for the sake of the hilarious observation made by redditor, GuntherWheeler, let’s look at solely the letters that are actually lit up. For all of you who are new to the abbreviation game (yes, all two of you), “af” stands for “as f*ck,” which basically doubles as a meaning for the word “really,” it just sounds a little more badass. Well, this pizza place must serve some really authentic Neapolitan-style pies, considering they have dubbed themselves, “Italian AF.” We imagine the addition of an “af” is the highest honour any pizza place can achieve in the modern day, and hope this place lives up to those standards.
The Yelp troll strikes again
There’s always that one Yelp reviewer, even in the comments of restaurants you love with all your heart, who seems to be completely unimpressed with something about said restaurant. This ranges from the extra trivial things like the ambiance and noise level, to the less trivial things like the service, to the even less trivial thing that is the food, which is really all that should matter anyway. Although people’s opinions of food are important, there’s definitely a majority rules kind of thing going down on Yelp, especially since not everyone is going to like the same foods. Either this guy really hates breakfast or he had a bad experience with something a lot less dire at this restaurant, considering he is the one and only man to claim his meal here was the worst breakfast he had ever had. Troll on, Yelp man, troll on, and may you eventually find food that meets your incredibly high standards.
A nice positive reminder for the day
TheRosepepper
The Rosepepper cantina gives dumb drunks a reason to feel less bad about themselves with this wonderfully worded sign. They encourage all of us to mend our hateful relationship with tequila (after it made us dance on a table and kick someone in the face) by accepting the fact that maybe it’s not all the tequila’s fault. Those who are inclined to dumb decisions while sober do indeed tend to be the ones who make dumber decisions while drunk, and tequila might be the perfect alcohol for that task. So next time you drunkenly embarrass yourself, remember this sign’s words of wisdom and think to yourself, “was it really all the alcohol’s fault?” Probably not.
We’ve gotta see this… deck
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Joining Crabby Dick’s on the dirty humour team is the cuban restaurant, Gordos. By the looks of it, they aren’t even actively trying to advertise any kind of food (even if it has a made-up kind of sauce), they just want people to come see their lovely large deck. Naturally, they’ve emphasized that it looks even bigger, for all the size queens and kings out there, without masses of bush blocking the view. Size really does matter when you’re talking outdoor seating; just think of how many people can fit on that one deck. While having it look bigger might not mean more seating accommodations, the enhancement of this restaurants deck certainly seems to be helping the chef-looking mascot’s confidence, if not anything else.
Not a bad set of options
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Oh what a dream, to drink the tears of your enemies from a steaming hot bowl. According to this restaurant’s sign, this dream can become a reality if you choose their “tears of our enemies” soup of the day over minestrone (which may be easier said than done since minestrone is just SO GOOD). It’s kind of difficult to imagine what the tears of our enemies would taste like, though, considering the tear aspect should make it salty, while the revenge on our enemies part should make it sweet. Maybe it’s one of those foods akin to a peanut butter cup or chocolate-covered pretzels – salty and sweet at the same time. We would hope that the presumed clearness of the soup brings clarity to our lives as well as we feast on some tasty satisfaction. Whatever the soup may offer, shout out to this restaurant for offering it at all.
Kicking racism to the curb
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So as most of you probably know, people of many different Asian ethnicities are accused of eating cats and dogs, even though it’s not very common, well, anywhere. It’s kind of like assuming all of the United States eats hot dogs covered in spaghetti-o’s and Froot Loops just because of one post claiming that’s a thing in North Carolina (which it most definitely is not). Annoying stereotypes aside, this particular Chinese restaurant cleverly used their sign to broadcast to all that would read it that they are not the reason for missing pets. We can’t imagine how many people stormed into this restaurant jokingly demanding their pets back. Not only is it not cool to promote this stereotype about an entire race, but your pet just died, people, what gives? There is, in fact, such a thing as telling jokes, even terrible jokes, too soon.
#Only90sKidsWillGetThis
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Obviously there are plenty of people out there who did not grow up in the 90’s who understand plenty well what this witty sign is referring to. And for those who didn’t grow up to theme song-tuned musical stylings of Will Smith, we’ll help clue you in. Will Smith was, and still is in our hearts, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air on the incredibly memorable T.V. show of the same name. Not only did this guy act, he rapped too, and in the show’s unforgettable theme song, he concludes with how he has become this “Fresh Prince”. His character in the show was pretty obsessed with being “fresh” like so many teens are, so when this Domino’s claims to have pizza fresher than Smith’s character, they better have some stellar cuisine to back that up. Plus, if they’re claiming to be better, that also makes them the Fresh King of wherever they are, and they better be ready for the responsibility that comes with such a title.
Now that’s how you target the millennial audience
You guys didn’t think we’d forget that sweet Pokémon GO tie-in, did you? We certainly hope not, because that is definitely not the road we have decided to turn down. Pokémon GO has swept the nation and now many restaurants are using Pokéstops located inside their stores to attract the tech-savvy clientele they potentially couldn’t reach before. What’s so great about this sign in particular is that it takes the humour one step further than a reference to the Pokémon in their store. Playing on Miley Cyrus’ 2013 anthem, this restaurant’s very own staff artist gives the well-known visual from the “Wrecking Ball” music video” a Pokémon flavour by turning Miley Cyrus into a Pikachu, swinging his way to the aid of his and his friends’ master as whoever it is attempts to “catch ’em all.” For the sake of this business hopefully that Pokémaster, and many other Pokémasters, at lest stopped in for a bite to eat.
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