Hmm, chocolate. The deliciousness that gives life meaning. It’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to us, yet one of our biggest downfalls. I could eat chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner and still not have satisfied my sweet tooth. If you’re a chocoholic such as myself, you know what I’m talking about. Unfortunately, our favorite snack isn’t low-calorie or low-fat, but that doesn’t stop us from indulging! Die-hard chocolate lovers will gladly sacrifice other food in exchange for a few pieces of the cocoa goodness. You know those shirts that say “I jog for beer” or pizza, or other guilty pleasures? Yeah, those. That’s how we feel about our chocolate. Why do I workout? It’s so I can eat chocolate for dinner, duh!
These funny and relatable memes will hit home with the chocolate lover in you. Enjoy!
Eat Your Veggies
Source: Pinterest
In a perfect world, chocolate would count as a vegetable. But let’s just go ahead and pretend it is a veggie since cocoa does come from a plant. Now, when talking about balanced diets and meals and all that, you can include chocolate as your vegetable! Hmm, steak, potatoes and chocolate for dinner! Yup, that sounds about right. However, this wouldn’t apply to kids. Right, parents? Counting chocolate as a veggie is a complex decision, and only adults are allowed to make such decisions. Sorry, kids, but you’ll have to stick to the green veggies for now.
Chocolate Cheetos
Via: Whisper
A sweet and salty combo is practically heaven on earth. Heaven. On. Earth. Do you hear me? As if hot Cheetos weren’t amazing enough already, this lady made them even better— with chocolate! Cheetos and chocolate frosting are both two mood-boosting foods, and combined they have the power to save the world. Or at least save the world from a PMSing woman. It may sound like a not-so-yummy combo right now, but I’m willing to bet it’ll sound amazing later when you’re hungry and slightly grumpy. I think the term is “hangry.” Yeah, this is definitely the food combination for the hangry lady in us all.
Chocolate > Everything Else
Source: Pinterest
No, meme maker, you are not the only one who thinks the chocolate cake looks better than the rainbow. I’m assuming the colorful cake is vanilla or some other bland flavor. So yeah, I would prefer the tasty, creamy chocolate cake over it. Call me crazy. You’re the crazy one if you think sacrificing taste for aesthetics is a good idea. Sure, the rainbow cake may be pretty, but pretty doesn’t have a taste. But for me personally, I think the chocolate cake looks better. Then again, I enjoy things that make my tastebuds happy, and that plain ol’ vanilla cake just isn’t going to cut it.
Making You Earn It
Source: Pinterest
Trail Mix may or may not be the worst thing to happen to chocolate. Ever. It’s almost like a tease to us chocolate lovers. “Oh, here’s some M&Ms! Just kidding, it’s peanuts and raisins mostly.” Any chocolate eater will tell you the effort of sifting through the mix is well worth it, though. It almost makes getting a taste of chocolate better. Like, yeah I just worked for this treat, and now I’m going to enjoy the heck out of it. You can keep your ‘healthy’ almonds and raisins, just keep the M&Ms coming! Now, the question remains, what to do with a bag of nuts and raisins?
Trickery
Source: Pinterest
Mom, why you do dis?! And yes, it’s mostly moms to blame for this trickery. You smell something that makes your mouth water, go investigate only to find chocolate chip cookies! Mom came through! You take a bite, all excited for the gooey chocolate, but you’re left with a mouth full of raisins and oatmeal. Quick, someone get a trash can ‘cause you’re going to be sick! It may sound overly intense, but mistaking an oatmeal raisin cookie for something as sweet and delicious as freshly baked chocolate chip one is enough to turn any chocolate lovers stomach. Seriously, folks, label the damn cookies!
Attention Grabber
Source: Whisper
Huh, chocolate?! Where?! What about it, do you have some? It’s almost like chocolate lovers are addicts. But being addicted to chocolate isn’t such a bad thing, is it? There are far worse things to be addicted to, like oatmeal raisin cookies. We all have that one friend— it may even be you — that is constantly eating chocolate, craving chocolate, or just ate some chocolate. So any mention of the candy will surely grab their attention. Want to apologize to your friend? Buy them chocolate. Made your girlfriend cry today? Show up with chocolate. You see the pattern here — chocolate makes anything and everything better. It’s no wonder just hearing it mentioned can grab attention.
Sharing Isn’t Caring
Source: Pinterest
If you really care about your friends, you won’t ask them to share their chocolate. You may not need to be so rude about it, but you can kindly say no thanks to sharing when it comes to chocolate anything. You got 10 chocolate cakes? Looks like you’ll be eating cake for months. You can put cake in the freezer, you know. You would be thinking about those two cakes for months after if you were to give them up. Like, dang I could still be eating chocolate cake for breakfast if only I hadn’t given those to my little niece! Kids shouldn’t be eating sweets like that anyway, they don’t count as vegetables for them, remember?
Just Girly Things
Source: Pinterest
Who eats expensive truffles when they’re feeling sad? The queen? I certainly am not enjoying $4 truffles when I’m crying and stuffing my face. Thanks, but no thanks. I’ll stick with Eddie Murphy on this one and just pour M&Ms down my throat. Luckily, these M&Ms don’t come with trail mix to get in the way. Yeah, it’s not cute when girls (or any chocolate lover) is scarfing down half melted chocolates in between sob sessions. It definitely isn’t an adorable truffle photo-op moment, either. The true chocolate addicts will tell you leftover Halloween candy is best when feeling sad. Plus, you can get it for cheap after the holiday, which makes it taste even better!
When You’re Sad And Blue…
Source: Pinterest
Eat chocolate. If we’ve learned anything from this list, it’s that chocolate comes in clutch when you’re feeling shitty. Or happy, or lonely, or whatever, because there’s really no wrong time to eat chocolate. Relying on treats to make you feel better is more reliable than relying on people, as this kid quickly learned from Willy Wonka! Why need people when there’s rivers of chocolate?! Disclaimer: eating chocolate with people you care about is the ultimate way to boost your mood. Disclaimer part two: eating chocolate with people you care about while watching ‘Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory’ is the best way to boost your mood.
Goals
Source: Whisper
I don’t know about you, but I have weight goals. I also have chocolate goals. Like, I need some chocolate pumpkins before Halloween is over. Unfortunately, these goals directly conflict with one another. Cue the working out shirts! Holidays centered around candy, namely chocolate, only means more gym sessions. Yeah, I wanna resemble Cara Delevingne, but I also want to enjoy life! Whoever says “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” must not have had a Cadbury egg. No wonder they’re crying. Plus, we all know it’s physically impossible to be sad while eating chocolate. Unless that chocolate is overpriced truffles, then cry away my friend.
Just A Small Piece, Please
Source: Pinterest
Omg, the people who request “just a small piece” of cake, especially when it’s anything to do with chocolate, are the worst. Like, don’t deny it. Everyone knows you want the corner slice with the most chocolate icing on it, why cheat yourself? Sure, slice “just a taste,” but you’ll be back for more. You may want to think you have all this self-control, but once nobody is looking, you’re gonna snag another tiny piece. And another. Until you’ve eaten what’s considered a normal slice, so why pretend? Life’s short, go ahead and enjoy a normal person sized piece of cake!
Chocolate Conspiracy Theories
Source: Pinterest
I wish I could let my dogs enjoy chocolate as much as I do! But, no. Dogs can’t eat chocolate. It’s not a trick, it’s not a joke. It’s not healthy for them. However, that does mean more for us humans! Anytime I eat anything, my pack of dogs are at my feet begging for a bite. I usually do share whatever it is— string cheese, sandwiches, etc— because I feel guilty not sharing. But that’s not the case when I’m eating chocolate! Nope, I don’t feel guilty one bit not sharing my Kit-Kat! As a pet owner, it’s kind of nice not having to share your cake, cookies or candy with a begging dog. Not that you’re mean, just the opposite! You’re a responsible dog owner with their best interests at heart. It just so happens to be in your best interest, too!
May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favor
Source: Pinterest
Or, in this flavor. Sorry, I just had to make a corny joke! But all jokes aside, seriously! This movie was intense. It was also the dreams of all candy-loving kids! Oh, to sip from that chocolate river! Heaven. Some of the kids couldn’t handle the heat of being in such an amazing place, unfortunately. I’m assuming you have seen the movie, if not, go. Go watch it right now! Just make sure you have plenty of Hershey’s bars on hand, because you’re going to want them.
What Diet?
Source: Pinterest
Your clothes shrink, your butt gets big, and you get happy. Small butts are over-rated, anyway. It’s a win-win. This gives new meaning to “fat and happy.” Shoot, if I’m never going to have my Cara Delevingne figure, I might as well be happy! And chocolate is a major key to my happiness! Making a Minion meme about chocolate and accepting it’s less-desirable consequences isn’t going to stop anyone from having “just one more.” Minions are practically the happiest little things on earth, and if their secret to happiness is chocolate, then count me in!
Chocolate VS. Vanilla
Source: Pinterest
Those two people are those who love taking their sweet time and enjoying the chocolate coating, and those with animal-like instincts that just devour anything that comes their way. Okay, maybe that was a little harsh, but who eats a chocolate-covered ice-cream without first enjoying the chocolate?! Savages. I personally prefer to pick off the chocolate first before eating the ice-cream. It’s like two treats in one! It’s how you can tell the serious chocolate lovers from the people who wish they were serious chocolate lovers.
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